MY HEART IS NUMB

While writing this blog, I really don't know what I'm feeling right now. I am not inlove nor sad. I just feel that I need something that until now I dont know what I am longing for.  May be this is the result of not attending masses for two weeks.

I am used to attend and hear Holy Mass every week. I feel so weak if I never go to church to listen to God's words. I really want to reflect, to pray and to talk to my God.

My heart is numb. I don't know why? So I asked my self: "Hey, Cris! Are you not happy that God have given you lots of blessings this year? Please do remember that God blessed you to bless other people but it seems that you forgot to share your blessings to toher people. Please reflect now. God might get all what have you received if you don't know how to share and to inspire other.

Am I getting selfish? Am I getting boasful? Am I not happy for the blessings that I have received this year?

I'm happy with all the blessings that God have given tome. What I want to know is why my heart is getting numb? I can not feel the joyness in my heart. I'm longing for something that will make my heart listen to other's desire. I mean, I'm craving for nourshments. My heart is thristy of God's words. I'm really longing for God. What I want is God now.

I have realized that sometimes if we just focus our self in the blessings that we want in our life, it might make us far away from God. Blessings might make us blind. BLIND! BLIND! BLIND!

Blindness can turn us selfish, boastful or arrogant. There's also a time that will forget the main reason why God blessed us. Reasons to share, motivate and inspire. Though you can say to your self that you are still working to live out those reasons but still there will be a time that you are just working not because  of your passion but an obligation.

Well, until now my heart is numb. I want my heart to be back from it's old status. A joyful and nourished heart.

Lord God, I know that I forget the main reason why have you blessed me so much this year. Please help me to softened my heart, nourished it and be active again in serving opther people around me. I'm very sorry if I became blind of the blessings that you have given me that made me selfish. Help me to be humble and selfless again Amen.